Monday, February 25, 2008

people tell temps everything

my doctor called me nat today. i thought that was nice. some people call me nat and it sounds weird but other people say nat and its nice. he fell into the nice category.

last night i watched live free or die hard. which sometimes i call die free or live hard which makes it hard to find in blockbuster. i liked it. i spent most of the movie having a crush on trey (jonathon sadowski) and hoping he wouldnt die. i knew his odds werent great. but what can i say. the heart wants what it wants.

my boss was trying to tell me that democrats vote based on emotion and republicans and vote on logic. i guess thats how whoopi goldberg explained it anyway. i said i dont know about that because republicans vote for issues such as abortion and gay marriage on emotion. the conversation naturally went here:

boss: logically democrats should be ok with the death penalty for the mentally ill, juvenile murderers, and the mentally retarded because society would benefit. its a fortune keeping them incarcerated.
natali: we all know it costs more to appeal than incarcerate so dont even make that argument.
boss: well if they didnt get due process it would be cheaper.
natali: i think republicans secretly hate due process more than anything else. i understand. i dislike a lots of things in the constitution. but then i got to the commerce clause and it made it all better. anyway, i think thats why mitt romney said that there should be two guantanamo bays. he knows how much republicans hate due process. but its cool. i dont really believe in god given rights either.
boss: romney is a pansy for dropping out.
natali: gobama.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

my class action is going great. thanks.

if someone asked me (no one has) what the best romantic-religious comedy is i would probably say untamed heart. it is also one of the best movies for jeans (that i have ever seen). it really changed how i viewed denim. marissa tomei loved super tight jeans. well her did character anyway. i doubt jeans had as much stretch back then (1993) so its pretty damn impressive. in the untamed heart christian slater was raised by nuns at an orphanage. he had a lot of faith. but probably not as much faith as the lady in this case i read recently had:

In Hancock, a church promised the plaintiff that if she gave money to the church, the church would provider her with property and support, as well as certain religious benefits, including a face-to-face meeting with Jesus Christ. It further noted that the allegations of a face-to-face meeting with Jesus Christ conflicted with First Amendment principles because that allegation was entirely religious matter beyond the courts' ability to adjudicate. Hancock v. True & Living Church of the Last Days 2005 UT App 314, ¶17 n.2.

if someone asked me (no one has) what my favorite mexican restaurant was i would say red iguana. i like to go there on sundays. today arlo and i were discussing how they never play mexican music there. arlo said its because they rely on their food to sell their authenticity. red iguana is where we came up with our idea to genetically alter kosher pigs with no hooves. i wonder what other unclean animals we could clean up with science. i just read that giraffes are technically kosher. but that seems like it might be illegal. however, we would like to provide the jewish faithful with bacon. i am pretty sure it was inspired. and unadjudicatable.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

i have strong feelings for the commerce clause

i have wanted to see me friend jl a lot lately. but she doesnt live here. in fact she doesnt live in this country. and i have always had a hard time calling internationally. the codes are tricky. if i miss someone enough i usually stop all contact anyway. but she doesnt know that and emailed me yesterday. excerpt:
That's not quite the word for it, but it is funnier and shorter than any other explanation....I think the grown-up world is a giant disappointment....There are relatively few decisions....It's a nice world for an indecisive little brute like me....What the hell am i doing that again for?...I was only able to understand it, though, because I've seen the movie so many times -- her diction is way above my head....I would probably be really disappointed that Elizabeth Bennett ended up with Mark Darcy and happy that Lydia landed Wickham and have no idea why it was even called Pride and Prejudice.

my attempt to respond:

did you know i am allergic to cats and dogs?
but i hate them independent of my allergy.

sometimes when i really miss people thats the best i can do.

yesterday i watched rachel ray make "comfort food." i dont know. she seemed a little down. she said that she used to work at macys and during the christmas season she worked long hours. she would come home and make soup at 1 in the morning and then put it outside her neighbors door because she was too tired to eat but she just wanted to cook something. i think maybe she is going through a secret divorce.

it snowed again today in utah. my paralegal told my boss it was because he kept praying for moisture. but he said thats not true at all and that he does his best to deplete the ozone in all the ways he can think of to increase the green house effect. he likes to help when he can.

Monday, February 11, 2008

i cant i am pregnant again

this is the gnome that lives in my break room. his finger is broken. someone keeps moving him. probably a ghost because who else would bother with such a thing? i have been firmly against gnomes and elves and possibly small trolls since my cousin d. told me about the movie cats eye which was the scariest movie plot my seven-year-old mind could comprehend.

other things that scare me:
1) ghosts in general but especially ghosts of prisoners or children
2) satan
3) mirrors
4) mirrors with ghosts or satan in the reflection
5) dolls
6) needles
7) skinwalkers
8) people that pick up hitch hikers. and then kill them.
9) large groups of children
10) knives
11) strangers
12) drugs
13) strangers doing drugs
14) ghosts in my shower and ghosts i am related to
15) ebola
16) insects that are fast or burrow

Thursday, February 07, 2008

blanket statements made in the ninth grade

the actress who plays the ghost myrtle in harry potter who cries in the bathroom also plays a character in bridget jone's diary who cries in the bathroom. but in bridget jone's diary she isnt dead. this is just an observation and has nothing (that i know of) to do with my post.

this week i went to lunch with my parents. after our waitress took our order she sat down at a table near us occupied by a pregnant women with 2-3 young children.

waitress: so did you do the pregnancy test? (naturally i thought she meant the one that included urine and a pink plus sign).
pregnant woman: you mean the one with my wedding ring? of course.
waitress: did it turn out to be right?
pregnant woman: totally! it is a.....
mom: you are so great with kids natali. (apparently we had been having a conversation about my children skills. i am not surprised. we have been having that conversation a lot lately. but i wanted to hear more about the waitress and her attempts to figure out what sex her fetus is with her wedding ring).
natali: (begrudgingly) i really dont think i am that good with kids. i wish you would stop circulating family rumors that i am fantastic with children. people might start asking me to babysit...
mom: nonsense you are SO good with children. you love children. you are going to be so cute with your kids.
natali: love seems like a strong word for my feelings about most children. mostly i am glad i am not that lady. she has like three kids under 3 and she is pregnant again. i am overwhelmed by her diaper bag situation sans children. but i do admire how with the advent of sonograms she still utilizes the "ring" test.
(i am not above the ring test. i just believe in gender neutral baby clothing so i probably wont find out.)

speaking of kids my friend greg came into town. i have only hung out with him one other time. i think i really impressed him with my kid skills. we were playing uno at his house in california and his friend's six year old was there. it was the uno championship game and i could have thrown the whole thing and let the kid win because he was pretty close and he really wanted to. you know how kids love that stuff. but instead i laid down my green 4 and i think said "sucka" or something like that.

Monday, February 04, 2008

i was just hoping you would invite me to a sweat lodge

there are some things i wont spend money on. it stems from my childhood. i dont need therapy to figure that out. my dad didnt make alot of money and my mom insisted on that whole stay at home thing (i think our relationship would have improved if she had a full time job that wasnt me). anyway we only recently stopped asking my dad if we can order a soda when we go out to eat.

back to therapy. if you like to read about therapy try love's executioner. its one of my favorite books. and if you want to watch a good movie about therapy try sybil. its one of my favorite movies. however, even though i can barely pull myself out of bed and do anything productive (my crafting life is really suffering) because its 17 degrees i would never do a thing about it because therapy falls squarely into the category of things i would never pay money for.

so imagine my surprise when i got a letter from the utah bar that said they would pay for therapy if any attorney wanted to go. for as long as you want. for the following issues: family problems, stress, depression, anxiety, personal cash management difficulties, elder care challenges, assessment of drug/alcohol dependence, and any other issues impairing my work or personal life. and i know they are just doing it because they are afraid i will burn out and quit the profession and they will lose money. but i dont care. because i get free therapy.

but i dont know if i will go. it seems like too much work.