bottled water and sushi can only fix so much

i dont know if anyone knew that my goal for july was for to get insurance. well i had two goals. but i only remember the insurance one. every so often i have a panic attack that i might have skin cancer. these panic attacks last about 48 hours. they run their course and i go back to thinking despite years of skin damage and history of skin cancer in my family i will be just fine. anyway i got insurance so that my parents can return to focusing on the fact i am not married.

for the record i hate insurance companies. i remembered how much i hated them when they denied my little brother coverage. my poor parents and their uninsured children.
anyway every so often something funny happens at my job. i take that back the paralegal at my work is always funny. i have never heard anyone swear like her. and thats a compliment. we had a deposition in our office over water rights and fruit trees (very heated topics). my boss was conducting the deposition but he told me all about it. the guy he was deposing was being an ass and not answering the questions. which can happen. so you have to keep asking the same question over and over until they get so annoyed that they answer. its a fun game. back to my story my boss asked a question and the guy says you will have to sue me to get me to answer that. and my boss looks up surprised and then hands him a pleading and says ummm i did. (i really hope this was news to him. one year into the lawsuit. he just saved himself a year of stress over the fact he was being sued). his lawyer was wearing jeans and a tshirt. perhaps his casual attire was indicative of his explanation of the legal process to his client.

venus williams was just on SVU law and order. she was a basketball player. i wonder if she gets sick of being pigeon holed as an athlete.

shake it up

here are my parents. they are probably thinking of my future. it makes them nervous i think. maybe it comes from the fact they are pretty sure i am never going to get married. i have always had this problem telling my parents about the dating/boy sphere in my life so i think they assume that no such sphere exists. once my grandma announced to the whole family she was pretty sure i liked girls and not boys since i never brought boys around. leave it up to grams to start circulating lesbian rumors. anyway, last night i decided i was going to make serious and unprecedented efforts to communicate with my parents about boys. so when i saw an opportunity to discuss i took it. here was how the conversation went: (picture me really nervous and walking away)

mom: natali did you go out to eat last night?
me: no mom i went to see a boy
my dad from downstairs: a boy?
mom: yes she said boy B-O-Y
dad: who?
mom: i am scared to ask
me: (i was scared too)

that was it. ground breaking i know.

why i want to be mexican

here is the deal with being older single and mormon, your single status is the only thing people want to talk about. ever. sometimes i want to discuss the weather or celebrity gossip but i cant change the topic away from my unmarried state long enough to find out if it is going to snow or if seth and summer broke up for reals.

as far as i can tell my single status is the most fascinating thing to the following groups of people: family, friends, co-workers, people in my ward, the IRS, people in my parents ward, acquaintances, anyone that is in any ward anywhere, my hairdresser, people i am on dates with and strangers. the conversation no longer is who are you dating oh that is fun. its more like. what the hell is wrong with you? lets discuss. in detail. all the time. at first i thought i could get away from it all somehow. these were my options as i saw them:

1) runway to mexico (the problem i see with this is mexicans are always asking me if i have a novio(and after working in a mexican restaurant i know what that means. that and queso) so this is probably not a solution)

2) start going to really loud concerts until i develop serious hearing damage (we are talking miracle ear here) (the problem with this is people say the word marriage to me so much that i am afraid i would be able to lip read)

dont get me wrong. i like to talk about dating and relationships and love and whatever and i often like to talk about these things as they relate to me. but sometimes i also like to talk about mtv programming, books i hate, how i still secretly think i might get ebola, etc. and then i realized no wonder people just want to talk about my dating status, ebola? (seriously can i get it? this is why i shouldnt watch documentaries).

anyway i am trying to take more responsibility for what i previously thought was everyone elses morbid fascination with my non married status. turns out i am just boring.