bottled water and sushi can only fix so much

i dont know if anyone knew that my goal for july was for to get insurance. well i had two goals. but i only remember the insurance one. every so often i have a panic attack that i might have skin cancer. these panic attacks last about 48 hours. they run their course and i go back to thinking despite years of skin damage and history of skin cancer in my family i will be just fine. anyway i got insurance so that my parents can return to focusing on the fact i am not married.

for the record i hate insurance companies. i remembered how much i hated them when they denied my little brother coverage. my poor parents and their uninsured children.
anyway every so often something funny happens at my job. i take that back the paralegal at my work is always funny. i have never heard anyone swear like her. and thats a compliment. we had a deposition in our office over water rights and fruit trees (very heated topics). my boss was conducting the deposition but he told me all about it. the guy he was deposing was being an ass and not answering the questions. which can happen. so you have to keep asking the same question over and over until they get so annoyed that they answer. its a fun game. back to my story my boss asked a question and the guy says you will have to sue me to get me to answer that. and my boss looks up surprised and then hands him a pleading and says ummm i did. (i really hope this was news to him. one year into the lawsuit. he just saved himself a year of stress over the fact he was being sued). his lawyer was wearing jeans and a tshirt. perhaps his casual attire was indicative of his explanation of the legal process to his client.

venus williams was just on SVU law and order. she was a basketball player. i wonder if she gets sick of being pigeon holed as an athlete.

natali no e

this is the art work that is hanging in my office. there are two other similarly ugly pictures as well. i dislike bad blue italian themed art more than you would probably expect. we hired a new receptionist named natalie. so thats confusing. my boss told me he was going to call her natalie one. which i thought was strange. i had worked there longer so it seemed like i would naturally be natali one. also i am probably seven years older. so logically i thought i should be natalie one. but no i am natali two. do i look like a natali two? today my boss asked if natali two was confusing and said maybe we will call the receptionist natalie engaged and me natali single. and then he asked if i would cry everytime someone said my nickname.

probably not.

i am glad easter involves ham

today in sunday school i thought it would be fun to try and guess what was in lee's easter basket. it was ok because i had that lesson last week. his mom ended up using pink grass. but i think everything else was about right.

after church i went over to the 21 year old's house. these were the contents of his easter basket. law school books, knives (4 to 5) and candy. his dad did his easter basket this year.

this was the last really good easter i had. i made a killing that year. you cant see it but there are a helluva lot of eggs in that basket. it was also the last time i had awesome gray velcro shoes. easter 84, i think of you often.

"lawyers, i suppose, were children once"

people ask me all the time what the most interesting things i have learned about being a lawyer, the law, practicing, etc etc. so far here are the most important things i have learned:

1) runners are almost always good looking. runners run legal documents to the courts or other law firms or wherever. they always have such good hair and good tattoos and they make those polos look good when they are riding those bikes...i dont even LIKE tattoos. they creep me out. ink in skin. gross. but on runners...ungross ink in skin.

2) the key to lawyering is bullshit. i guess this isnt a surprise. but seriously even i was taken back by the sheer lack of knowledge at every level in the law. for example if you ask the court clerk how to list the defendants on a pleading they will say they dont know despite the fact they probably file twenty complaints a day. paralegals know more than most and probably do the most legal work, illegally. lawyers know shit. but i dont really blame them the laws are pretty complicated and there is a lot to know. so they spend most of their time posturing. when they get sick of that or there is the chance a judge might call them on it they ask a law clerk to try and figure out the law. thats about it. fascinating i know.

oh and

3) paralegals almost always use the f word. it pretty much makes my day. next to runners paralegals are my favorite.