Friday, September 14, 2007

if you live in calcutta you are bound to have a fifty year crisis of faith

bugs scare me. a lot. i know they arent really out to get me, not all of them anyway (some in australia are) so i shouldnt hate them but i do. especially furry-fast ones. there is a furry-fast one in this bowl underneath my gender and law theory, doctrine, commentary book and just in case that wasnt heavy enough criminal law and its processes. what does that even mean processes. i think thats a fancy word for how to get in and out of prison.
anyway i cant kill bugs it requires me getting too close. i dont mind catching them though. well that is a lie. i had to call my dad who talked me through the whole process(es?). the conversation went like this:

7:12 am
dad: what is going on
me: there is a bug in my room. its furry and fast. (mildly hysterical)
dad: what would you like me to do about it?
me: i dont know. fix it?
dad: i live 57 miles away
me: so what do i do?
dad: kill it with your shoe
me: i cant kill them it requires getting too close
dad: put something over it. then you can throw it outside.
me: can you do that?
dad: we went over this.
me: i dont think i can do it
dad: ummmm i dont know what to tell you.
me: oh i did it. i gotta go. i am late for work. love you bye
dad: love you too bye

(if anyone wants to know the ending of this story the feminism book killed the spider. i guess sort of like its killing traditional families. that and gay people)

my dad is so nice. i really like him. i was thinking about it when i saw a rainbow today. rainbows remind me of Gods promise that He will never flood the earth again. (not sure where i got that). i dont really understand the first flood and i dont know if i believe in that whole noah story. but thats ok because i dont think you have to believe in the noah story to believe in God and like rainbows. which is what i do. i mean it could be true. i am cool either way. anyway it reminded me how nice mine own dad was. for instance, when i got into my car today after work i found this polident on my car seat. at first i was confused. but then i remembered i asked my dad to bring my mouth guard over if he was in the area (my dentist said i dont have any cavities but thats probably because i grind them off. ok he didnt say that is why i dont have cavities. its probably because i floss) anyway my dad brought me my mouth guard and threw in some polident. thanks to my dad my mouth guards will taste like triple mint fresh in just three minutes. not grinding my teeth never tasted so good.


Janel said...

Oh jeez. You have no idea how hard I laughed at this one. I myself had a summer of bugs when I was dating this guy who lived in a basement. There were all varieties of bugs living in his home: fuzzy, furry, slithery, crackly, shuffling, jumping, flying, and they were all plain creepy! It didn't matter the kind, every one of them freaked me out. And every time I saw one, I'd try to stifle a shriek.
I wasn't always that way. In Texas the roaches would get as big as my forearm (which maybe isn't saying much, but still...) and they could fly--Somehow I developed something of a tolerance to them as my hatred of them outweighed my fear of them and I became a roach killing fiend. However, in the frenzy of the multitude of insects that I had to come in contact with every night at said boy’s home, the fear took hold again. That is, until one day when I just snapped all over again. Then I became the predator, and my then-bf played along. We’d walk in and stealthily hunt every bug and spider down and they’d very quickly end up 2-dimentional. The other solution that was eventually reached was this: said boy and I broke up—then there were no more late night make-outs involving separating ourselves from the spiders crawling on us.
Nat, thanks for reminding me of those times and for letting me know that I’m not the only one out there like this. Congrats on conquering over the insect trying to ruin your life.

natali said...

do you associate kissing with spiders? this could turn into a fun fetish.

ram said...

For all it's worth the Sumerians believed in the flood too. - But Some other God did it. And I don't remember why. Just say the word if you ever want to skip out early from church and go eat out.

punk rock girl said...

ram i didnt know you read my blog. and i always want to skip out on church early and go to sizzler.

Heba said...

Natty, I just have to add that I ADORE your father too. He is the cutest man ever. I especially love that he fills your gas tank when you are home. And I love your mom because she scratches your back. I wish my mom lived nearby so I could have my back scratched. Or that you lived nearby so you could play with my hair. And help me get a pair of Hudsons.