Wednesday, December 05, 2007

i prefer to give inhabitants a say

my boss recently told me the secret to dating was faking an interest in sports. in fact faking all your interests. i said i had been taking a similar approach only i fake having no interests. really all that is important is that you fake something.

my friend fight was recently wrong about my interests lately. we were texting about nicknames and dr. knife. he said dr. knife sang songs about wanting to be the new satan and killed God and hung out with the old satan and how i would like it. when i didnt respond for awhile (because i was at lunch arguing with shane about whether i hate everything he loves) fight sent me a reassuring text that it is just music and none of that stuff really happened.

i am really interested in quilting. but its boring to talk about. unless you are in my quilt class. the conversation last week went something like this:
49 year old lady in my quilting class (resembles betty crocker): my boss is very uptight about driving with me alone. he said is improper.
65 year old quilting instructor: what does he think will happen?
49: i am not sure should i be offended? natali does this ever happen to you?
natali: sure. its part of the reason why women attorneys have a hard time advancing in their careers. male partners wont take them to lunch or golf because they think it will look inappropriate. does anyone have any more of that red material?
49: well i dont like it very much. i am not sure why he is so uptight.
65: sounds like what he needs is a blow job.
49: seriously it would do him a world of good.
natali: about that red material...


natali said...

despite the use of the phrase blow job my blog is still rated PG. go ahead and show it to the kids.

Tim & Breena said...

i'm peeing my pants right now

Cicada said...

I need to join your quilting class.

dane said...

NO WAY!!!NO WAY NO WAY NO WAY!!! this reminds me of a funny story that a mission companion told me about his brother, who was about to get married. theyre all at the dinner table and his brother goes "i can have oral sex, right?" the mom goes "no." the dad goes, "yes" and the guy that asked the question yells "like HELL i can't. why do you think i'm getting married?"

i'm sure they're a happy couple.

ThomCarter said...

It reall does help!