vampires like it windy

it was only recently i realized my mom wanted me to marry my little brother (to be fair i am sure its subconscious). it was the same day i realized i probably dont have a ghost. actually both those things happened today.

i thought i had a ghost. its a long story (its short but you the reader wouldnt think i had a ghost if i told you so i am not even going to bother telling you why i thought my apartment was haunted lets just say for 4 days i was sure it was). i never talked to the ghost but i talked about it on the phone in my apartment so i figured it knew how i felt about it living there. its passive aggressive i know and i feel kind of bad about that. but now that i dont think i have a ghost i feel less bad.

speaking of passive aggressive my mom has decided that i am not married because her friend thinks i am too picky. she said her temple friend sui ying thought that was why i wasnt married (for the record i have never met sui ying). my guess is my mom thinks i am too picky. the conversation went like this:

mom: sui ying thinks you are being too picky
me: huh.
mom: you need to give boys a chance. say he is 5'8'' to 5'10'' that doesnt mean you cant date.
me: i am sorry. i will try to be more tolerant of that height range.
mom: i dont know and he could be 26. just because he is only 26 doesnt mean you shouldnt date him.
me: (in my head: what in the world)
mom: and he can be shy. give the shy boys a chance.
me: are you talking about trevor (my little brother)
trevor: kind of sounds like she is
natali: i dont think we should get married (to trevor)
trevor: i did check you out once. but i didnt know it was you. but i did think you were cute.
natali: thanks.

jean mystery

i am the proud owner of these boyfriend jordache jeans. the last couple of days i have really pushed myself to understand what boyfriend jeans means. i finally realized that boyfriend fit means that they fit looser in the leg (not in the ass dont worry). apparently i could have googled that and saved myself a lot of thought on the subject. i am a pretty big fan of really tight jeans so i am really glad that i am pushing myself jean wise to wear ones that i am more unsure of. i am kind of sad that boyfriend jeans doesnt refer to the growing trend of men wearing jeans designed for women. that is what i hoped it meant for the first day but i knew that would be too good to be true. so in case anyone else was confused on the matter its yet another jean mystery solved.

why i want to be mexican

here is the deal with being older single and mormon, your single status is the only thing people want to talk about. ever. sometimes i want to discuss the weather or celebrity gossip but i cant change the topic away from my unmarried state long enough to find out if it is going to snow or if seth and summer broke up for reals.

as far as i can tell my single status is the most fascinating thing to the following groups of people: family, friends, co-workers, people in my ward, the IRS, people in my parents ward, acquaintances, anyone that is in any ward anywhere, my hairdresser, people i am on dates with and strangers. the conversation no longer is who are you dating oh that is fun. its more like. what the hell is wrong with you? lets discuss. in detail. all the time. at first i thought i could get away from it all somehow. these were my options as i saw them:

1) runway to mexico (the problem i see with this is mexicans are always asking me if i have a novio(and after working in a mexican restaurant i know what that means. that and queso) so this is probably not a solution)

2) start going to really loud concerts until i develop serious hearing damage (we are talking miracle ear here) (the problem with this is people say the word marriage to me so much that i am afraid i would be able to lip read)

dont get me wrong. i like to talk about dating and relationships and love and whatever and i often like to talk about these things as they relate to me. but sometimes i also like to talk about mtv programming, books i hate, how i still secretly think i might get ebola, etc. and then i realized no wonder people just want to talk about my dating status, ebola? (seriously can i get it? this is why i shouldnt watch documentaries).

anyway i am trying to take more responsibility for what i previously thought was everyone elses morbid fascination with my non married status. turns out i am just boring.

My Ex Tv Bfs

This post was inspired by Cicada

Sawyer from LOST

Why I shouldnt have liked him: he is an asshole

Why I did like him: he is an asshole. also, i love how patriotic he is. he is the only one who is a good american on the whole damn island. he is keeping capitalism alive and well. by hoarding away all the guns, meds, anything of value and then forcing his co-islanders to barter and trade in life or death situation for the supplies...he brings the american dream to the island. some of you may say thats not fair, sawyer is just taking the other passengers possessions and then forcing them to buy them back (jack would probably say that. i hate jack). but i think the pilgrams had a similar system with the native amercians. so i like sawyer. because he is an american (actually no its because he takes his shirt off ALOT).

Why we broke up: sawyer just hasnt been emotionally available since his dad killed his mother in front of him. you can only date a boy because he takes off his shirt a lot for so long (approximately 6 1/2 months).

Michael Knight from Project Runway

Why i shouldnt have liked him: he is a workaholic and as a designer has a lot of self absorbed potential.

Why i did like him: because he made one of my favorite outfits on this season of project runway. and i thought it was cute that he gave kayne the heads up whenever kayne's dresses took a turn for the hookerish (most of the time). and damn that boy can accessorize.

Why we broke up: since he is no longer on tv it feels like we have really grown apart. i am not that in to long distance relationships so we called it off.

seth cohen from the OC

Why i shouldnt have liked him: because i love him and summer together and i would never want to come between their magical relationship.

Why i did like him: seth is by far my most long term tv boyfriend (it lasted 2 1/2 seasons). i love him so much. he is nerdy and witty and skinny and tall....the perfect boy.

Why we broke up: it started around when seth missed his boston college interview and started smoking pot. i couldnt bear to see him throw away his life like that. oh and he might be gay. it was recently brought to my attention that he and ryan are very close (like in love close)...seth did freak out and run away when ryan left. the story checks out. so maybe i dont want to come between ryan and seth...