Monday, February 12, 2007

why i want to be mexican

here is the deal with being older single and mormon, your single status is the only thing people want to talk about. ever. sometimes i want to discuss the weather or celebrity gossip but i cant change the topic away from my unmarried state long enough to find out if it is going to snow or if seth and summer broke up for reals.

as far as i can tell my single status is the most fascinating thing to the following groups of people: family, friends, co-workers, people in my ward, the IRS, people in my parents ward, acquaintances, anyone that is in any ward anywhere, my hairdresser, people i am on dates with and strangers. the conversation no longer is who are you dating oh that is fun. its more like. what the hell is wrong with you? lets discuss. in detail. all the time. at first i thought i could get away from it all somehow. these were my options as i saw them:

1) runway to mexico (the problem i see with this is mexicans are always asking me if i have a novio(and after working in a mexican restaurant i know what that means. that and queso) so this is probably not a solution)

2) start going to really loud concerts until i develop serious hearing damage (we are talking miracle ear here) (the problem with this is people say the word marriage to me so much that i am afraid i would be able to lip read)

dont get me wrong. i like to talk about dating and relationships and love and whatever and i often like to talk about these things as they relate to me. but sometimes i also like to talk about mtv programming, books i hate, how i still secretly think i might get ebola, etc. and then i realized no wonder people just want to talk about my dating status, ebola? (seriously can i get it? this is why i shouldnt watch documentaries).

anyway i am trying to take more responsibility for what i previously thought was everyone elses morbid fascination with my non married status. turns out i am just boring.


provoce said...

I have two new(ish) answers for being single.

1) I'm staying single for the jokes--I mean, there is some good comedy here. The married jokes are SO played out. See: every sitcom ever made.

2) I'm staying single to avoid being called into a bishopric. (Sorry that one doesn't apply for you)

Holdinator said...

Can you get ebola from "crusty" water that has sat on the counter of Teriyaki Bowl too long?

Just curious.

-brian holdaway