Monday, March 26, 2007

"lawyers, i suppose, were children once"

people ask me all the time what the most interesting things i have learned about being a lawyer, the law, practicing, etc etc. so far here are the most important things i have learned:

1) runners are almost always good looking. runners run legal documents to the courts or other law firms or wherever. they always have such good hair and good tattoos and they make those polos look good when they are riding those bikes...i dont even LIKE tattoos. they creep me out. ink in skin. gross. but on runners...ungross ink in skin.

2) the key to lawyering is bullshit. i guess this isnt a surprise. but seriously even i was taken back by the sheer lack of knowledge at every level in the law. for example if you ask the court clerk how to list the defendants on a pleading they will say they dont know despite the fact they probably file twenty complaints a day. paralegals know more than most and probably do the most legal work, illegally. lawyers know shit. but i dont really blame them the laws are pretty complicated and there is a lot to know. so they spend most of their time posturing. when they get sick of that or there is the chance a judge might call them on it they ask a law clerk to try and figure out the law. thats about it. fascinating i know.

oh and

3) paralegals almost always use the f word. it pretty much makes my day. next to runners paralegals are my favorite.

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