Sunday, January 20, 2008

ignoring whatever survival instincts i still have

when i was little (pre literacy) my favorite book was about an apartment building and the people that lived in each apartment. i asked my dad to check it out everytime he went to the library. even back then i just wanted to read the same books over and over. i liked how the occupants of the apartment building (they were all animals) lived together and understood each others living patterns. i was very curious about things you could learn about another person/family based solely on proximity. (for the record i didnt know the word proximity yet but i loved to look at the illustration of all the different apartments and who lived where and who did what and how that affected everyone else). my family just lived in a regular house. we lacked the intimacy with strangers that you can only gain through apartment living.

in my apartment building #4 likes country music, #6 smokes stinky pot ( alot of stinky pot), #1 has a dog, #12 has had sex at least once this year (actually it was twice but same night) and #13 likes korean food. anyway, these are just things i know because we all live really close to each other. #8 is my favorite. i know him because he is always outside smoking so we chat. he is friendly. which is probably why he made a good chauffeur. anyway i ran into him the other day while he was getting his mail.

#8: hey how are you doing?
natali: good. i noticed that your escalade is gone. are you still a chauffeur?
#8: well no i quit.
natali: oh no way. why?
#8: oh well maybe i got fired...some clients didnt like what i had to say.
natali: what did you say? (i realize now this is none of my business. i didnt realize that at the time).
#8: well there was a client who hates mormons, especially missionaries. i picked him put last week and he started going off about mormons...
client:i hate missionaries. i mean what are they even thinking? especially senior missionaries, they should be enjoying the best time of their lives not on missions.
my parents are in the MTC right now actually.
your parents are f*$&ing idiots.
f*#& you. suck dick. f*$&# you.
#8: so he called my boss and i got fired.
natali: what a jerk. im sorry.
#8: its ok. that job made it impossible to sleep.
natali: tell me about it. apparently after six months of heavily using ambien i built up something of a tolerance to all forms of sleep aids....

my mom always said in small towns you dont "live on top of each other" which is how she describes city living. its funny. i kind of like living on top of each other.


B. said...

For three and a half weeks I had someone literally living on top of me. It was terrible.

becky said...

i like anything that ends with "on top of each other"

natali said...

someone literally living on top of you...i can only think of two explanations. you lived in japan OR you had a conjoined twin.

B. said...

Ugh, long story.

"Hey man, you mind if I just live on your shoulders for a couple days until I find a new job?"

Weeks later I finally had to get rid of him by walking under a low overpass.

Cicada said...

I really liked that story.

I'm just saying.

natali said...

its the nicest story i have heard for awhile.

lisa said...

b, you really need to work on your boundaries.