Wednesday, January 02, 2008

lets step into the shadows and talk

i think i might move to mexico. actually a more accurate statement is i might vacation there and just never come back. i figure mexicans do it all the time in the US and i dont mind one bit. not that my immigration policy opinion matters much. anyway you might not think i am capable of being that irresponsible. but i am really working my way to it. for example, over christmas i just took time off work. i didnt ask for vacation days or even inform my boss. i simply did not show up for a week and a half. did i get fired you ask? no i got a raise. it was like a scene out of office space without the flair. back to my raise. with all my new income i am going to mexico. in my head its sunny all the time and everyone is friendly and gives me fish tacos.

the paralegal who is always trying to peer pressure me into drinking coffee showed me a new tattoo she got over the holiday. i didnt care for it. but it reminded me of a funny story. but first a less funny story:

paralegal: i like those jeans. (to me)
natali: thanks. i lost some weight so it bothers me that they arent tighter. i like tight jeans.
paralegal: those are FMN jeans.
natali: is this some brand i dont know about?
paralegal: no they are "F*** me now" jeans.
natali: what i didnt quite hear you...
paralegal: F***me now jeans.
natali: F*** me now jeans?

and that was how i was tricked by the paralegal into saying the F*** word. i have never said it once. i guess i should say had. now you might ask how that is possible with the amount of rated R movies i view. its barely possible. but i dont say it. i am swears selective. i think its a mean and potentially derogatory word. also people so rarely use it right. those are just my personal feelings towards F***. they are subject to change. but it brings me to this funny story.

i had just given the same paralegal some fudge for the holidays. she said she liked it. shortly after we both happened to be in the bathroom at the same time. she was in stall one and i was in stall two.

paralegal: so i have a new F*** buddy.
natali: (did she say fudge buddy? am i her fudge buddy? do i have to give her more fudge?)
paralegal: anyway the sex is fantastic.
natali: (does she always mumble F*** or should i have my hearing checked. what a relief we are not fudge buddies. or F*** buddies for that matter). really that
paralegal: way fun.

i know what you are saying. arent you taking a break from the blog because you want to really think about it and revamp it and shit. i thought about it and all that seemed too hard for me during the season of the year where getting out of bed seems ambitious.


lisa said...

"in my head its sunny all the time and everyone is friendly and gives me fish tacos."

i was just in mexico, and i can verify that it's really like that. tons of fish tacos.

Cicada said...

My 65-year-old carpool buddy said the f-word seven times yesterday.

natali said...

i wish i had a carpool buddy. eff.